GLOBAL WARMING, TERRORISM AND MY INHERITANCE OF ‘HAIR’ LOSS!!

Hello world!! Off late, scientists, world leaders and intellectuals have realized and accepted the potential threat which humanity faces from global warming and terrorism. Much is being said and written about these two problems and gradually even I have started to believe that these two are the biggest threat to life on earth. Though, not a very active one but fortunately or unfortunately, as per the scientific definition even I qualify as a living being. Henceforth, the greatest threat to life on earth is also a cause of concern for me. So, today I’m going to write on the issues due to which my days are becoming restless and my nights sleepless. Based upon the disaster potential I’ll discuss the most lethal issue first. So let’s start the discussion with my inheritance of hair loss…

My lineage gave me many qualities. While, I inherited an ability to speak something on everything from my maternal ancestors, I got this ability of mingling amiably with anyone and everyone from my paternal forefathers. I owe my DNA to my parents and I’m really thankful to them for such colorful chromosomes. But apart from all these things there is one more thing which I inherited-an insatiable affinity for dandruff. My grandfather lost a major chunk of his hair before I was born. My dad and my uncles, they all walked the same path. Similarly, my maternal grandpa and my maternal uncles have almost lost their mane and are hardly a market for the shampoo industry. All my cousins who are elder to me proved that this love for dandruff (or apathy for hair) has crept in our generation as well. Then one fateful morning, my pillow showed to me that my turn to shed the curls has arrived. I was mentally prepared for it so it was not that big a shock. I knew my destiny has no plans to accommodate a hairy head in the future. But I decided not to kneel down. I made up my mind to wage a war against this cruel intention of fate and vowed to fight against it till the last strand of hair remains on my head. So, I went to a doctor, a step which no one in my family had taken till now. After, getting acquainted to my family history, he told me that it was as inevitable as death. All we could do was delay this process. Besides a prescription, he advised me on a lot of things- from my food habits to my sleeping hours. But the most precious thing he said to me was- “Mental stress also contributes to hair loss.”

While, walking back home, his last words were still resonating between my ears. I started to think, “More stress means more hair loss and more hair loss will surely increase to mental agony i.e. stress. This stress will cause some more hair loss, which will cause still more stress, which in turn will result in still more hair loss, which will add more stress, more stress will again cause more hair loss which is bound to cause some more stress and this newly added stress will result in a little more reduction of hairs. This vicious circle will go on and on and on and on till the last hair goes off and then there will be no hair, no loss and thus no stress!” I was not delighted but I surely felt enlightened. It strangely occurred to me that this circle was equally applicable to the other two threats-global warming and terrorism. Let me elaborate.

The ‘good’ forces of the world are fighting a ‘war on terror’. To kill the terrorists they bomb their locations, their hideouts and sometimes their villages. This kills the terrorist, and with him die many others. Some lose their brothers; some lose their father while others lose their entire family. These dudes decide to take revenge. They become terrorists. They strike back and then the ‘good’ forces have to again bomb their locations, their hideouts and their villages. Once again, old terrorists are killed and new terrorists are born who will definitely hit back to avenge their losses. Poor ‘good’ forces have to kill them so bombing will take place again. The explosion will kill few terrorists and give birth to many more. This circle will go and on and on and on till the last bomb kills the last man alive. Then there will be no humans, no war, no revenge and no terrorists.

Now, let’s talk about global warming. We all will agree that the summers have become hotter than what they were a decade ago. The world temperatures have risen, thereby creating a demand for more cooling devices like refrigerators and ACs. Refrigerators provide us cold water and cold drinks; therefore help us to fight the heat. The refrigerants used for this purpose have a global warming potential. Thus, they contribute in further increasing the temperature. Use of ACs and other such energy consuming devices helps to maintain the temperature but their increased use (because of an increase in temperature extremes) calls for more power production. More power production means more burning of coal which means adding more and more ‘green house’ gases which will lead to further increase in temperature. Thus, to combat the heat, more ACs and more refrigerators will be required which will cause more global warming and thus more heat, to fight this extra heat more ACs and refrigerators will chip in, increasing the temperatures a little further which in turn will force us to use more ACs and more refrigerators and thus this process will go and on and on and on till the temperatures will rise so high that no AC or no refrigerator will be able to protect human life and then there will be no ACs, no refrigerators and no global warming.

I think while writing this I have wasted enough of electricity and now I should stop this twaddle before I become a serious contributor towards global warming. Thank you for reading this post. Bye!