GOD and politics...

Disclaimer—this article is not intended to hurt anyone’s religious or political sentiments. Please, go through it only if you can handle crap without taking it too seriously…



Hello world! Due to some unavoidable (and highly personal) reasons I couldn’t write (or rather think) anything worthy of a blog on the past two Sundays. Though, I reckon that not many people visit this page but even then I believe it’s my responsibility to apologize.

So the story goes like this--- Once upon a time, during the twenty first century, God decided to incarnate himself one more time. This time he decided to adopt a more contemporary way to demonstrate the ‘right path’ to the erring humans. He consulted his secretary and deduced that democracy is the order of the day-latest and the most popular form of governance. He therefore decided to contest an election and set an example by becoming an ideal leader. Since, India was the largest (rather the most populated) democracy, he chose India as the region of his operation. He came to India just a year before the general elections and went to the office of one of the upcoming popular political parties of the country. There a man, in his early seventies, was interviewing the possible candidates for the party ticket.

“Your name please?” the man asked.

“Awww….Bhagwan Awatar”, God thought for a while and replied.

“Good name…will appeal to the rural and some of the orthodox voters.” The man smirked and continued, “So why do you want to join politics?”

“I want to do something for the humanity.”

“Nice answer…it will impress people… but you don’t have to pretend anything here…you can speak the truth. Anyways, let’s check your credentials…have you ever committed any crime in your life say killing anyone?”

“Yes…I do take lives…but I don’t think it’s a crime if I do it.”

“Good! You have some attitude”, the man exclaimed, “How many?”

“Well…I don’t remember exactly. It is my secretary who keeps the record.”

“Great…you have a secretary for this purpose...but why did you kill so many people?”

“I reckon their time was up; I had to bring an end to their lives…That is how the things work.”

“No remorse! Superb! We want such type of people…In politics you cannot waste time on repentance and all.” The man spoke nonchalantly. He started again, “So, let’s move on. Have you ever faced any punishment?”

“Yeah…once upon a time, some men tried to crucify me…”

“What...and you survived?” the man was a bit surprised.

“Yes…It’s no big deal…” God said with a smile.

“Great…We want tough people…” the man looked impressed, “I hope you can divide people on the name of their castes if it serves your interest?”

“No…I have never done such a thing”, God was surprised.

“Hmmm…no problem…I hope you can certainly divide them on the name of religion?”

“Blasphemous….why would I do that?” God was shocked.

“What? ...Ok…have you ever done a scandal…manipulated public money?”

“Sorry, but it’s against my dignity…”

“Oh! I hope that at least you are good at forgetting your promises?” the man snapped in. He looked a bit irritated now.

“No…I have always fulfilled every promise I have made to my followers.”

“You have followers…a public base…good…how many?”

“Well…not many these days but in good old days I had a pretty decent following.” God said with a sigh.

“Look dear…being in politics is not easy…People will come to you with lots of expectations and complains…”

“Yeah…some of them do come even nowadays…” God interrupted.

“Let me finish…you have to listen to the people but never take them seriously. Console them, be polite to them but never take any petitioner too seriously. In this country people come to you only when they are in trouble; once the trouble is over they forget their leaders. Keep on fooling them with your kindness and try to extract maximum advantage out of them. Most of us are successful because of this trick.” The man explained sternly.

“That is not possible for me…I always listen to each and every prayer with uttermost sincerity and do take necessary actions. It’s a law for me, I cannot violate it.” God was exasperated. He went outside and checked the board hanging on the parapet. It read—XXXXX political party. He returned to the man.

“What happened? Where did you go?” the man looked annoyed.

“Huh…for a moment I felt that I was at the wrong place but the board says that it’s not the devil’s workshop. Are you really a politician of this country?” God used his power and forced the man to speak the truth, “Fess up…I think you are devil’s agent…come on…tell me the truth…”

The man was terrified, “I’m no devil’s agent…please…believe me…I belong to the XXXXX party.”

God read his eyes. This time he was speaking the truth. God decided to go to some other party. He had heard of one more party which was very popular in India. “This one must be following the ethics…I’ll join it.” he said to himself.

He entered the office with a positive frame of mind. The first question was asked to him, “How many successful scandals are to your name?” ….

Faces of Femininity- stories of success !!

Kiran Bedi, Sonia Gandhi, Aishwarya Rai Bacchan, Mayawati, Sania Mirza, Arundhati Roy… well the list can go on endlessly but what is common in the above names? Yupp…they are all women. They all are from India and they all are very successful in different walks of life. Now, let’s have another set of names— P. Archana, Devi Kumari Singh, Suman Sinha, Isha Sharma, Lalita Agarwal…and the list can go on and on and on and on… What is common here? Once again, they are all women. They all are from India and even they are very successful in their life. But who are they? Alright, you can stop scratching your head. I’ll unfold the mystery.

P. Archana is a bus conductor in Visakhapatnam. Every day she sells and checks tickets for scores of commuters traveling on the route 400 N in that coastal city and she is the one who actually fined me for not buying a ticket( though I can still swear that I bought the ticket but misplaced it –courtesy- my absent mindedness) . The sheer confidence and sincerity which emerges from her can be felt by the ease and dedication with which she does her job. Being a woman, by no means, intimidates her but makes her more responsible. She said once, “Men forget because they are absent minded, women forget because they are women. This attitude of the society makes me more determined to maintain perfection”. No doubt, that she is a successful woman.

Devi Kumari Singh is in Delhi police and she usually monitors the traffic near Chanakyapuri, South Delhi and she is the one who caught me roving without a helmet (Yaar…helmet hi kharidne ja raha tha ). Once again, she is a woman who has to interact with dozens of law flouting idiots (like me) and once again, the candidness and poise won’t let you go unimpressed. Wearing the Delhi police uniform with pride, carrying the baton with authority and walking with a head held high, she is indeed a successful woman.

Suman Sinha …sorry…Dr. Suman Sinha is a dentist in Lucknow. She owns a clinic in a busy marketplace and she is the one who admonished me for having stains in my teeth ( Yuppp…I was addicted to tea once upon a time). Teeth have no gender, but the brain, a few inches above them, is gender biased. On being asked “Don’t you feel that men would prefer a male dentist for getting their tooth extracted”, she smiled and said, “Some people with a tinge of chauvinism do tend to think like that but most of my patients want a neat job, obviously with less pain- to the gums and the wallet.” Today she is among the most sought after dentists in Lucknow and earns more than most of the men in the city (including me (sigh)). I think she is successful too.

Isha Sharma, age 22, works in a software firm in Noida. She was my classmate in school and she is the one from whom I copied a few answers during a maths paper in school.(That was the first and the last time I copied…I swear!!). From the very beginning of her academic career she showed an exceptionally good aptitude for the so called male-dominated-subject. Rejecting the sincere advise of many to take up arts, commerce or biology (the so called girlish subjects), she preferred mathematics. Her father wanted her to take commerce in graduation and stay at home but she went on to become a software engineer and now she lives on her own. The same father got an expensive wrist watch on father’s day and proudly proclaimed, “My daughter earns more than my colleague’s son.” (fortunately or unfortunately, my father is the colleague he was talking about). I think I have full rights and reasons to believe that she is successful as well.

Lalita Agarwal is a house wife. Her elder son is an engineer and the younger son is a tremendously successful businessman. She was always a bright student throughout her academic career but after her marriage she found that her husband could hardly spare time for the family owing to the immensely huge business he had to look after. She chose to sacrifice her own aspirations and became a home maker. She diligently looked after her children, often playing the role of a father when her husband was not present. Today she is extremely satisfied with her life and says, “I could have become a successful professional but I m not sure then what would have been the fate of my family. I’m satisfied that I was always there with my kids whenever they needed family support. I’m glad that my husband could give his hundred percent in work, without worrying about the family. He knew I was there to care. Today my family is happy, I’m an achiever”. She surely is an achiever by judging the status of his husband, the success of her children and by the immense satisfaction, illuminating her face.

Famous or not famous but women in India are achieving new heights. They are doing things which were unimaginable a decade ago. They are everywhere. Besides taking care of their children, net savvy home makers are buying stocks online. Women are in the army, in the police, in hospitals, in call centers, in research institutes and obviously in our houses, converting them into homes…Shayad yahi hai- ‘Buland Bharat ki Buland Naari ki Buland Tasweer …!!’